Oh Disney villains. They try so hard and accomplish so little. We can learn so much from Disney’s plethora of heros, but we can also learn a few tips and tricks from our favorite villains too!
1.) Dating Tip: If You Want To Date A Girl, Don’t Try To Kidnap Her Father and Send Him To an Insane Asylum. Dating advice for the dudes: if you want to score a date with the prettiest girl in town, tossing her father into the looney bin probably isn’t the best dating strategy. Usually you want to be on dad’s good side. So if Gaston can teach us anything (besides an eating regimen), it would be how NOT to treat a lady. Also, guys, if a woman is giving you OBVIOUS hints (ie: tossing you out into a mud pile) that she is not interested, move on.
2.) Interview Your Henchmen Before Hiring Them
Are they proactive? Or are they going to watch TV instead of taking care of their job responsibilities? Jasper and Horace, I’m looking at you. Do they have basic math skills? Or are they going to think that they are still going to look for a baby after 16 years of searching? If you want your evil plan to go off without a hitch, ya might want to make sure you have qualified people. Or else things are going to get all kinds of messed up. I suggest holding interviews and requiring resumes and references.
3.) Stay Humble
Listen, if you gain a wee bit of power and get all crazy with your ego, things are going to start going downhill. Fast. I understand that you want to be the most powerful genie or rule the sea and have everyone bow down to you. But first of all, baby steps. Second of all, keep the ego down to a minimum. If ya get cocky, you’re going to miss important details such as: Genies have little bitty living spaces and wrecked ships have pointy sticks on it. And then your evil plan is all ruined and stuff. Sad face. So stay grounded my friends.
Is he an old guy with a boy scout with a floating house? What about a gentle self- conscious man that happens to have a hunched back? Don’t ever underestimate someone. They might be an unlikely hero. And you’re going to feel a wee bit silly if you end up losing. Or falling off a church…or maybe you’ll just feel pain…
5.) Throwing a Temper Tantrum Is NOT How You Get What You Want
Yes I understand, you’re mad that you’re stuck in the underworld while your brother gets to live in the big fluffy cloud palace with flying horses. Or you’re upset because your guardsmen didn’t paint all the roses red. Or you feel disappointed because your stepdaughter is way more attractive than you. Whatevs. Such is life, my friends. But pitching a fit is not how we solve problems. Fo reals. We can all have a calm and peaceful convo, which shall be a lot more productive than trying to kill your brother’s kid, or your stepdaughter or a random blonde chick with an authority/listening problem. I totally get that sometimes you start getting angry, but we can all put ourselves in time-out, count to ten, cuddle with our teddy bear and come back to the issue when we are feeling better. Ok? OK…
About Arielle: Arielle Boardman just came back from a crazy adventure where she took a hot guy hostage and made him take her to go see floating lanterns only to return home to find out that her “mom” kidnapped her because she like was totally obsessed with her hair and Arielle was actually the lost princess. She’s now married to said hot guy and lives in a castle….Oh wait. That’s Rapunzel. Rapunzel did all that….