It’s been a few weeks, and Main Streeters have asked for more, so here we go! Let’s talk about “That Guy” at Disney! This is our feature where either you’ll say to yourself “Hey, I know that guy” OR “Wow, I am totally that guy!” It’s all in good fun, no harm meant! So in combination of my own observations and Main Streeter feedback, here’s our latest round of “That Guy at Disney!”
1. Roadblock Guy ~ You know him! You’re happily walking down Main Street, trying to get to your next FastPass location, and BOOM, roadblock! This guy stops in the middle of a walkway and holds up “traffic” for no apparent reason…. then turns around and gives you a dirty look if you bump into him. Keep it walking or pull over Roadblock Guy.. we have places to go and don’t want a people pile up! Beep beep!
2. Butt Cheek Guy/Girl ~ This one is for “That Girl” because luckily I’ve never seen a guy in this spot, thank God. Butt Cheek Girl seems to think that it’s perfectly acceptable to wear shorts that are short enough so that her butt cheeks are hanging out. Instead of shorts, they look more like denim underwear! I know it’s hot outside, I get that, but please, cover your butt, there are children around. We don’t want to see your cheeks, at least not the ones from behind!
3. Life Story Guy ~ This guy I’ve only seen a few times, but it’s kind of funny. Example of “Life Story Guy”… We were standing in line to meet Dug and Russell at Animal Kingdom. This guy goes up to the characters, and starts talking to them and asking them questions that they obviously can’t answer. Example ~ “Hey Russell, we’re from North Dakota, have you ever been there? My daughter doesn’t like her picture taken because of what happened when she was 4 at a birthday party and there were clowns there and the cake was chocolate and it rained that day and………” Hey Life Story Guy, Russell can’t engage in conversation and you’re holding up the line. Smile for the picture and move along!
4. Character Interrogator Guy ~ This guy is similar to “Life Story Guy” but is all about questions. Lets go back to Russell for example. Character Interrogator Guy’s routine goes like this: “Hi Russell, where’s Carl?” “Where’s your Ellie Badge?” “Do you like it here in Animal Kingdom?” “Is it hot enough for ya today?” The same goes here as Guy number 3, Russell can’t answer your questions, you’re only going to get hand gestures and this whole meet and greet will turn into a long frustrating game of charades…. and you’re holding up the line. Don’t be that guy.
5. Crash Photography Guy ~ This guy asks you to take a picture of him and his family, which is fine, but then holds you hostage for a bit longer that you’d have hoped. He wants to see the pic you took too approve it, then asks you to take it from another angle, then poses 12 more additional ways and before you know it, you’ve turned into their personal photographer, giving a private photo session. But wait…. just when you think you’re getting rid of this guy, another walks up and asks you to do the same for their group. Why not right? You’re good at it! Just use common courtesy if you ask someone to take your picture, it doesn’t need to turn into a glamour shot session!
6. No Further Boarding Guy ~ You’ve been there. You’re on the tram at a park, waiting to go back to the parking lot. You hear the Cast Member call for “No Further Boarding.” That means, step back behind the yellow line so the CM’s can play the recorded safety message and we can be on our way. Well, this guy ignores the Cast Member directions and squeezes into the tram anyhow. That, in turn, annoys the CM’s and everyone else on board, because then they have to wait it out and play the safety message again. I remember one night at Hollywood Studios, the CM said No Further Boarding over and over, and they had to play the safety message 5 times because people were getting on the tram anyhow. Very frustrating, and disrespectful to those on the tram and the CM’s who are trying to do their job. No further boarding means wait for the next tram, not squeeze yourself into a row because you don’t want to wait 5 minutes.
7. The Human Wall Guys ~ Yes, this is a group of Guys instead of one. Human Wall Guys form a chain while walking, a slow moving wall if you will, and no one can get around them. It’s like a chorus line, or the Rockettes maybe, that family who insists on walking everywhere five or six abreast, hand in hand…. and you’re not getting by. They’re probably stopping to read the map too, so look out.
8. Bathroom Stall Dweller Guy/Girl ~ Most of us don’t like using public bathrooms, myself included, but it’s a necessary evil. We just want to get in, do our business, and get out. Bathroom Stall Dweller is a space invader of the worst kind, by standing right outside your stall, impatiently waiting for you to tinkle and get out of there, sometimes trying look through the cracks to see if you’re almost done. For the love of Mickey, don’t be that girl/guy! Some of us get shy bladders and can’t perform under pressure when someone is right there waiting and watching. If you look down and you can see Bathroom Stall Dweller Guy’s shoes sticking out from under the door, I truly feel for you. Been there, done that… can’t potty because I’m being watched. Please, wait for the next stall to open at least 5 feet away and give folks some privacy! Shy bladders everywhere will be thankful!
9. Foul Mouth Guy ~ Disney is a happy place, full of families and magic and fun….. and “F Bombs”… What? Oh yes. Just because your second language is “sailor” doesn’t mean guests around you need to hear that. I don’t want my kids to hear that either. A little self control and discretion goes a long, long way. Oh, and his name is Mickey Mouse….. not Mother Bleeping Mickey Mouse, get it right, Foul Mouth Guy!
10. Picky Eater Guy ~ Picky Eater Guy can mostly be found at a Quick Service place to eat on Disney property. He gets to the front of the line, then starts asking a ton of questions or asking for modifications to the menu, hence holding up the entire line. Even after Picky Eater Guy asks for a different menu, asks for a breakdown of what’s on each sandwich or plate, then lollygags around even longer and can’t decide what he wants….. thus, again, holding up the line. People are hungry, if you don’t like the menu or don’t know what you want, let someone go in front of you before they pass out from hunger! It’s the polite thing to do!
That’s it for “That Guy” the Third Edition. Do you know That Guy… OR are you That Guy? Either way, this is all in fun, and something that our readers enjoy and like to contribute to. I hope you had fun reading. If you have a suggestion for an upcoming article, please let me know! Until next time, be aware of those around you, show respect to the Cast Members and your fellow Disney goers, try to be polite…. and don’t be “That Guy” at Disney!
** You can read the previous That Guy blogs in the suggested posts below!
** Main Streeters have sent in some of the above, and the silly photo at the top was made for us by Gregory Smoot!
Michele also contributes theme park news for Fox 35 Orlando 11pm news and on the radio on WDBO.
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